Hello friends…

19 10 2015

I haven’t been here in a long while.  This was where I came to write because writing seemed to help me while I was healing and when I was in pain.  Being on the planet was painful, this place made it less so.  At more than one point in my life I had to have a reason to exist or I couldn’t exist any longer and the answer I got then, was that I was here to learn to love more perfectly.  That alone was reason enough for me to endure what I was going through, and now I am so glad that I have.

I haven’t felt the need to be here because I haven’t been in pain in a long while.  Weirdly enough that in itself has become my reason to come here.

For weeks I have been helping my Aunt get resettled in a new place.  One of her needs has been to find a home church, so every week I have been attending a different church with her.  So far we have gone to 6 churches and have for one reason or another found them all lacking something she feels like should be there.

I haven’t attended church for over a decade myself because I didn’t want to be labeled a “Christian”.  It was for a mixture of reasons and few of which I am proud to share but the main one is that I don’t want people looking too closely at me as a human being.  I am very flawed, and it feels like “Christians” shouldn’t be.

I don’t know what my Aunt is looking for.  I was just there to support her search, but a funny thing has happened to me and I can’t contain it anymore.  I found the love of God.  Each church we walked into I felt for it…thinking I have felt the love of God before when I was in Church, why not here?  Have the churches died?  Are we needing a revival to awaken the spirit of God in his people so that others can see it?

Yesterday at Church I found it.  Not because we finally found the “perfect” Church that was flowing with Gods love but because suddenly it was in me.  I have this feeling that I want to reach out to people who are hurting and comfort them.  I care in a way that I haven’t been able to in a long time.

I don’t want to preach the Gospel or live my life differently, I just feel the need not to ignore the pain of others anymore.  I want to ask…are you feeling the love of God today? and take some responsibility for making sure you do, and I am Grateful.  I found my answer.  I was seeking the love of God…and he put it in my heart where I could feel it and know that it was true and real.

I am back here today to say when I searched for Healing, God provided.  I Am Grateful.  When I searched for love, God provided.  I Am Grateful.  I am living an abundant life today, and I am grateful.  I believe God speaks to us in voices that are unique to us. That He knows our needs, and provides for them in ways that are unique as well.  Don’t stop seeking for what you need, and if there is a way I can help you, please let me know.

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