The twins…my new reality.

25 10 2018

These two humans fell into my life and have changed everything about it. We are still becoming a family, and yet are unsure what it looks like for us for so many reasons.

They still have parents. Parents who are randomly involved and most often missing from their lives so that we have to deal with them, but they seem not to contribute in many meaningful ways. No child support. Not acknowledging them on their birthday.

Often the kids write to them and receive no answer. They rarely call and often when they do only speak of themselves. I often wonder if I should keep encouraging them to reach out.

I am a month from 60 and worry about that. They may need parents longer than I may be here to help them. I keep hoping that if they know how much the children love them they will be motivated to get it together so that they can have a relationship someday.

They had so many problems that I have felt at times overwhelmed and like it was best to let them go to someone better able to deal with all they have been through…but still we hang in there and keep trying to make this work thinking that to let them go would just add to the number of adults that have failed or abandoned them.

They don’t do well with structure and rules and at 12 are already talking about quitting school. The fact is they don’t fit in there. These people with rolls that make them want to “whip them into shape” readying them for High School and a life of kissing ass to get by, have no room in their tight running little school for anyone that doesn’t fall in line and show the proper respect.

Seriously! Where is there “RESPECT” for these human beings who have survived the last few years of chaos, only to be ripped away from the only home they have ever known and everything and everyone they loved.

Now they are 12, at a new School, living far away from the people who knew and respected them, and I am up at that Jr High every week, trying to get the people running the school to understand why they refuse now to let people treat them like children.

They are trying to funnel these kids into the bad kid school, because they refuse to say “yes sir!” burp in class, and refuse to stop wearing their hoodie! I won’t have it!

I got hired on at Publix but they want me to work all nights and weekends and that isn’t possible with these two. For now I am homeschooling Cassie, while trying to pick up enough cleaning jobs to keep me in enough money for allowance and bills so that I can have the free time to get them to therapy appointments and give them all the extra attention they need.

Pray for us.



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