The family is the single most important influence in our lives.

12 06 2018

All throughout our lives, we will need to depend on others to protect us and provide for our needs. The Family unit is the most dependable way we have of securing that in our society.

“Family” is a support system that stabilizes our ability to provide for our own needs. To have a Family means you have security; people who you can count on who share your problems, but it also means mutual responsibility for the welfare of all the others in that group.

From their first moments of life, children depend on parents and family to protect them and provide for their needs, but we will never outgrow our need for family. By linking our survival with the survival of others, we best ensure that our needs are always taken care of.

A family is a contract made with imperfect people. Sometimes we fail to fulfill our part of the bargain, but it doesn’t negate the contract. Our strength as a family unit is that we are bound by that contract as a whole. When someone drops the ball on their obligations, someone else picks it up.

Everyone in our family unit has at one time or another contributed to my own health and welfare and I am equally bound to each and everyone in our group to do whatever I am capable of, to contribute to theirs.

Growing up Bob and I were very aware of the fragile nature of our “family”. The family we had just passed us off to someone else, and this new family bailed in their obligation to us, just as the old one had. We, in turn, built our own family’s and are both proud to claim and enjoy the benefits of what we have built.

I chose long ago to add members of both of the family’s of our origin, to the family I built for myself. Giving myself a larger family base gave me more strength and stability, and everyone who knows me, KNOWS I NEEDED IT. For whatever reasons, for a good part of my life, I have been dependent on others to step up and help me and my children, and they have. I have reaped the benefits of belonging to the family I built.

Those I am closest to, know that I am about to expand my family again by marrying Kevin. I am so happy that everyone has embraced him so fully and have grown to love him as I do. Recently I made another decision and asked the family to step forward with that same level of support, and am finding that my support system is faltering in its ability to give that to me.

Almost 12 years ago, our original mother took responsibility for twins that were not at all blood related to our family. I long ago made her and those children a part of my “family”. For all the members of this family who have chosen not to add ALL the members of MY FAMILY to their own, I honor that decision. There is no judgment in me for that.

Now she and those children NEED someone to step up. It is true that none of us are in the perfect situation to do so. Their needs are overwhelming.

For some time now the only person close enough to help, has been already way overburdened by their own circumstances and commitments. We have allowed her to take this on while all of us have been waiting and watching hoping beyond hope that the situation would conclude without anyone else needing to be inconvenienced.

Kevin and I are in agreement that by bringing Mom and the kids here we might be endangering what we have here, so I have chosen to go there. We have put our marriage and our life on hold while we look closer at the situation. No other decisions have been made, except this one.

We love and are committed to each other and we are asking that you continue to support us as a family unit as we go through this.


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