My Mother…

28 11 2012

gave me my first vibrator for Christmas in ’87. I was 29, had left my husband, and my 3 children and I were living with her. It embarrassed the hell out of me and I lost it long before I found it useful.  I was living with her again when I was 45. By then my kids were grown, her husband had died and we were gaining an awareness that at some point in the future we would also pass and that someone would be going through all our belongings.

We were talking about the fact that I would be embarrassed to think that my children might find my vibrator in my personal possessions and that I should at least get one that could pass for being used for something else. We both recognized that they were smart enough to see past that, but I still felt that it was better than leaving one behind that was so obvious.

There is some chemistry between my mother and I that tweaks our sense of humor. One of us suggested that one was embarrassing but more than 10 were not. Instead of getting rid of the one I had all I needed was get a lot more of them and stick them everywhere!

That sent us off on a roll where we were thinking of places to stash them. I could put one in the cookie jar, the silverware drawer, the refrigerator, roll one up in the window shade, or slip one between the speaker and the computer screen. Then we realized that Moms movie collection had boxes about the same size as my vibrator box.

She suggested covering the boxes with our own covers and naming them after movies that fit the object inside, like “What about B.O.B.?” (B.O.B. meaning Battery Operated Boyfriend), “What Women Want”, “As Good As It Gets”, “Batteries Not Included”, “Electric Dreams”, and “While You were Sleeping”. For a week, every time we saw each other we were rolling on the floor laughing over the latest titles we thought of to put on the boxes.

We both spent another day laughing while co-writing a book called Playing the Bass for beginners. It was a book that taught you how to play a Bass fish complete with illustrations that showed how to screw in the guitar strap pegs into the head and tail of the fish so that you could hold it while you played with the advice to “just do it! The fish is dead already and you can’t play the damn thing without a strap!” It also warned the musician not to get a fish with a mouth smaller than 4” or they would be limited to playing “Tip Toe through the Tulips” and other Tiny Tim tunes.

She always said that it was a good thing that there was an ocean on both sides of this continent so I had something to bounce off of.  I live 3000 miles away again and with her Birthday coming up find myself thinking of her and missing her perhaps a bit more than usual.  If your reading this believe me when I say I realize how rare and wonderful you are Mom.   Hope I find myself on your doorstep again someday sharing more laughs and adventures.

with love,

sincerely, SB

 

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One response

28 11 2012
manningtreearchive

Quite frank. I never knew that movie boxes can be used for those purposes, as well. 🙂

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