My latest addiction…

1 08 2012

ImageSpent a long weekend with my nieces.  I so needed to do that.  Part of why I am depressed is that I can’t be with my children and Grandchildren.  When I left I thought I would be back in 2 weeks.  I want to be here but I have never been away from my Daughter for more than a few weeks in her whole life.  She is my better half!

The girls are so good to me.  Tiff took me to Hobby Lobby for beading supplies, loaned me some tools and taught me to wire wrap.  I spent the whole 4 days working on my projects.  I am so pleased with the results.  I really needed this!  I canceled my appointment for Monday and did this instead and think it is better than any pill on the planet!

I can’t always write and while I love it and need it, except for rare occasions when I have felt more like a wordsmith then a writer, it doesn’t make me feel like this.  When I paint I feel like this.  I need to get home and get my things.  I left behind my Grandmothers easel and paintbrushes.  So many canvases left unfinished and in my mind these things call to me like old friends.

Some days it’s hard for me to gather 2 thoughts and I need to be productive in order to be happy.  Not having a job anymore makes it harder because housework, even though it needs done, is so perpetual as to feel like there is nothing to show for all you do.  If you wash up all the dishes, 20 minutes later they need done again!  This I have to keep and it is truly beautiful.

I am so blessed to be wrapped in the loving arms of this family.

My Brother and I only had each other.  We had no idea what a real family was and when I look at the family’s that we have built I am proud as hell.  We have raised good humans.  They are kind, loving, and very invested in keeping this structure that we call family a strong supportive place to be.  It’s very good to be a part of it.

When I really think about it, my latest addiction, is my family.  I need them like I need to breathe, and thankfully they are here for me in ways I never imagined they would be.

Now I need to get back to work…




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