Unmedicated unstructured life…

26 07 2012

Normally I am up at 7.  My usual self is most productive in the early morning and able to accomplish much when I jump right in and do it.  Showering is always easiest when I first jump out of bed and I can have a full days work done before noon, before any meals or even coffee when I just get to it.  No one here is on that type of schedule.

Till this last week I was still up by 7 but would be as quiet as possible till others are awake and moving around.  Now I sleep till noon and if I am up before that it’s for 20 minutes or so and then exhausted I head back to bed.  I barely function.  It is 9 pm and I have been awake only a few hours all day and its been only for an hour or so at a time.

I made an appointment at CNS healthcare for Monday.  I need help.  This isn’t getting better and without medication I am barely functioning.  I have yet to make a single phone call to my family.  I have a very nice list though.  Don’t know why it is so hard to just do it.  Several of them really need me to reach out to them and I just can’t right now.  I am just a waste of space and air and resources.

(Insert sound effect of needle being drug over a record here.  Does anyone on here even remember what it sounded like if you didn’t pick the needle up all the way when you removed your records?)

6:48am I slept all night.  I went to bed at 8:43 thinking I will get up again in 2 hours and try to write and slept all night!  I hadn’t gotten the trash out so I had to jump right in and get that done…then I turned on the dryer and cleared the kitchen table.  I did a sink load of dishes and then folded and put away the clothes that were washed 3 days ago.

By the time I got back to the dishes barely a half hour after I started and things were so much more open and less cluttered.  I actually feel better.  Much better.  Now for those phone calls…

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